Assalamualaikum all dear earthlings, especially those who are visiting my blog, whoever you are, thank you so much for stalking over my blog hahaha, if none it's okay, I love to write for my own satisfaction hehehe. 

Sebenarnya tak terniat nak menulis pasal ni, tapi ... bukak feeds tadi ternampak gambar ni, therefore, tercetuslah ilham untuk menulis. Macam kena pulak gambar ni. Hahaha macam tu pun boleh kan? 

Yes, cuz it's a study time, so I guess I should really stop it now. Hahaha, yes yes memang sebelum ni pernah cakap kat post sebelum ni, I will forget him, tapi disebabkan terlalu layan perasaan... I didn't. I do feel like sometimes... yes he does have the same feeling as how I am, but sometimes I do feel like , no it's just my imagination, my day dream. Tak tau nak cakap apa. Flashback sikit ...

About last few months, tengah-tengah rancak berborak dekat group gegirls. tiba-tiba Anis cakap yang this week dia ada MUET test dekat my school, jadi masa ni teringat dekat M, hahah I knew that he'll going to have the test at my school, jadi saje wssp dia, *yes diri ini memang gedik sikit* tanya bila dia muet acah macam tak tau cakap kengkawan ramai ada speaking test muet dlm minggu ni. Mula-mula dia cakap esok, hahaha I was like what? esok kaa hahaha kena prepare awal-awal ni, gitu kau hahahahaha. But then he said he misunderstood the schedule, act lusanya kot tak silap dia cakap. Okay then.. Bila tiba hari dimana dia akan datang sekolah, memang happy je starting masuk kelas hahaha punya pandang kiri kanan kot kot terserempak dia, but being told yg mungkin budak muet datang masa kitaorang rehat nanti. Fuh kuat sungguh kabel kan? Jadi masa rehat ni dok tertengok kiri kanan gaklaa sebenarnya takut dia nampak hahaha memang selekeh habis hari tu dop tau await jd lagu tu. Nak dijadikan cerita, my classmate xiao hui ajak dia teman ke washroom, sedang berjalan nak ke sana, tiba-tiba muncul orang berkemeja ungu dari lorong, kezut habis, mau tak kezut , M kot kat depan mata sekarang ni, terhenti kejap langkah nak ke washroom, xiao hui mcm dah pelik, but act kitaorang ikut je dari belakang, smpai ke sudah dia tak pandang, K FINE ... akhirnya terus masuk koperasi riso jugak sebenarnya dia toleh kebelakang, M you know what we were only two steps behind you , Okay dia takde feel apa tu tak pandang. Ke saje dia tak pandang? Well actually masa tu happy kot dapat nampak dia depan mata, lama dah tak nampak dia hahhahha, act nak wish goodluck face to face, but ... dalam hati jelaa,, M fighting! Hahaha Balik balik tu tngk ada org wsp, and yes it's from him, dalam dok pung pang wssp (ceh acah rancak padahal takpun), in the end dia cakap, lambatnya habis kelas kalau tidak boleh ke terserempak dengan kau kat de tadi makan ais krim orang tu belanja. DAH TERSEREMPAK OKAY kau je tak pandang  hahaha nak je send tu. And I've brought some of the ice creams, but in the end bagi classmates. hahahh janji harus ditepati. Anis pulak perabih puji dia hahahaha okay untunglaa dapat berborak en?

Flashback sikit lagi,, hahaha dlm tengah having cutiii ni, ex classmates ajak pergi metro. My kesayangan gegirls pulak takde transport, jadi ingat nak mengangkut diaorang laa ni. Sekali lagi menggedikkan diri tanya M pasal parking kat sana. Hahah takdelaa rasanya diajelaa kot yang 'mungkin' pernah ke sana by driving, jadi nak tanya senang ke tak hok nak parking tu. Dok penat tanya dia itu ini, my father said. "NO" driving around there! Ewah speaking kot ayah haha. Nolaa My father was like, tak. Ayah cakap sekali tak jadi tak! Biar ayah je hantar ke sana. Mengada sangat nak driving ke Kepong tu awak tak tau bla and bla panjang lagi kisahnya hehehe. So I told him that way, dan jawapan dia memang HAHAHA. "Maybe sebab tak ajak aku laa tu kot". "Eh kau cuti kan jomlaa" lebih kurg gitulaa kot ayat reply acah acah coverline excited. Sesampai sana tak expect dia betul betul datang. Baru nak tegur, my gegirls dah ngajak main basikal hahaha. Bila dah siap main, depa nak sambung main dodge ball, lepas tu dia nak balik pulak. Okay....... Okay.... hahahah tapi hari tu memang best sangat! One of the best moment dapat spend time dengan ex classmates, gelak gelak like before, rindunya moment mcm ni dengan diaorang. Rindu sangat sangat. Sekarang ramai dah mula sem2, jadi tahun depan lagi laa kot.

Alright, satu hari ni terkejut bila bukak account ask.fm, I saw a notification that really has surprised me a lot, M( I mean his display name) has liked your answer. HAHAHA. Okay, okay, jadi dia tau my ask.fm punya username? How he knows? DAN yang paling kelakarnya... dlm tu dahlaa banyak soklan merapu pasal dia hahaha. First tu rasa macam nak delete ke tak, delete ke tak? Takpe biar. Starting from that day I guess, everytime I sent him messagessss he'll reply a veryyy short text. Masa ni rasa macam, maybe dia tak suka if I wssp him. Sebenarnya takdelaa everytime, baru sekali je starting form that day, tapi lepas tu kesinambungan daripada text yg sblm tu, memang perasan jawapan dia macam suruh stop. Okay yes, mengaku yang my texts selalu not on topic, dan maybe wasting his time to reply. He still got a lots of things to be done. But if only he knows, bukan wssp dia saje-saje. I tried hard to find a very relavent topic to ask him, the moment I came back from event, rasa macam tak terdaya dah nak bukak mata continue packing tapi setiap kali tengok birthday wish yang dia bagi, terus gagahkan diri. Tapi since tab tu sekrang dah menghembuskan nafas terakhir, hilang dah. Everytime sakit, wssp dia pasal pelajaran laa apa-apa jelaa hahaha.

But after I think all over it again, I should not do this. And after knowing pasal acc ask.fm ,tak nak dia rasa simpati or kesian Zuhairah ni bla bla. Kalau boleh sebenarnya tak nak dia tau pun. Actually conversation friend zone sebelum cukup buat hati ni rasa terubat. I've promised myself, I'll stop bothering him, nanti lagi laa dia fikir lain kan. I'm a girl kot, I should not act this way. Yes, lets focus our vision in life first. The main reason kenapa suka sibukkan diri dengan macam-macam hal sebab nilaa. tak nak terlalu ikutkan perasaan. Kalau kat dalam group tu diaorang express macam mana nak forget someone semua dan diri ini selalu jawab, make urself busy. Jadi korang takde masa fikir hal-hal remeh ni. Akan tiba masanya, first sekarang cari cinta sang pencipta, Allah S.W.T , jadikan diri korang hamba yang baik, berbakti kepada kedua orang tua, dan capai cita-cita korang dulu. I always bear in mind this. Yes it's hurt, it has been around 6 years, dan masih takde apa sign. Taknaklaa diperlaku macam ni jugak kan, so this could be the reason for me to stop and continue full-filing my goals life. In shaa Allah, harap dipanjangkan lagi umur ... jauh lagi perjalanan.

That's all for today, thank you. Sincerely,

SITI ZUHAIRAH